


Dylin's a Dumbass

by Immortal_trash389



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Dylin's just a fucking dumbass, M/M, who thinks swallowing a knife is gonna surprise your ALWAYS NERVOUD HUSBAND
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23425423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_trash389/pseuds/Immortal_trash389
Summary: Dylin swallows a knife. Scott panics.
Relationships: Phone Guy/Purple Guy (Five Nights at Freddy's), dylin/scott
Kudos: 27





	Dylin's a Dumbass

I stared at Dylin in disbelief, my mouth running dry as I watched the slim silver blade disappear into his mouth.  _ It’s just a butter knife, how much would it hurt my oaf of a husband? _

The answer: A  _ lot _ . And just… No other reason than he was a dumbass and lost his grip on said  _ butter knife _ . I pursed my lips before being hit with concern.  _ Oh shit. He lost the knife. _ He tried to pass it off with a sheepish smile, flashing the canines-bordering-fangs I fall for  _ everytime _ , waving me back. I shook my head, popping him on the back of his before pulling him to the truck. He hummed, sitting in the passenger seat obediently, pulling his seatbelt over himself.

“They’re just gonna shove some tweezers down my throat to get it out, babe. Nothing we couldn’t do at home.” He paused, humming to the music. “I’ve survived Springtrap, I can survive a butter knife, Scott. ‘Sides, we can’t afford a hospital trip. We’re still paying off the suit trip.” I shook my head, swallowing thickly, watching the road ahead of me.

“You’re such a dumbass, Dylin. Why’d you even do it in the first place?” I felt his crimson gaze on me and bit my lip, glancing over to meet his eyes before watching the pavement again. He shrugged, shifting in the seat to sit sideways, keeping his gaze on me.

“You know you love me.” I hit the brakes, causing him to flail, reaching to support himself on the dash. My eyes shifted, falling on his tanned face.

“Of course I do. Which is why I want to know  _ why the hell did you think you could safely swallow a knife _ ?” He shrugged again.

“Impulse. I wanted to a, surprise you, and b, do something weird.” I set my jaw, watching him.

“Well, you accomplished both. By  _ swallowing a fucking knife _ .”

“I barely feel it, babe. You’re getting worked up. Just… calm down.” I sighed, resting my forehead against the steering wheel. “And, it’s just a butter knife. Small little thing. Not like I took one of my pocket knives or your dagger and did it.”

“You better fucking not.”

“I won’t.” He paused for a moment before reaching into his jeans pocket and pulling out one of his knives, setting it in the glove compartment. “There. Now we won’t get in trouble at the hospital for having weapons on either of our person.” I shook my head, pulling the truck back onto the road, continuing to the hospital.

“You’re such a fucking dumbass, Dyl.” He smiled, watching me.

“Guilty as charged, babe.”

\-----

When the nurse finally called his name (after an hour or so of waiting and me fretting over him), we walked into the cramped emergency bay, and I pushed him to sit on the bed. He answered the standard questions and the nurse took his vitals before getting to the  _ actual reason _ we were there.

Let’s just say we were probably the story of the night. The nurse looked at him in disbelief, and he flashed his canines again, making me the slightest bit jealous. She walked out, assuring us the doctor would be in in a few moments.

I pouted, watching him as he twiddled his thumbs, waiting for the doctor to come get the knife out of his throat. He glanced at me, smiling softly. 

“I’ll be okay, babe. Just a quick ‘reach in, grab it, back out’ kinda thing.” I nodded faintly, and he tilted my head up with two fingers. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not coughing blood or gagging. I’m not in pain. I’m fine.” He leaned over, pressing a kiss into my forehead gently. “I love you.”

“I love you too. I just wish you hadn’t swallowed it.” He chuckled.

“It’s too late to worry too much about it, babe. It’s happened, we’ve just gotta get it out now.” I nod again before burying my face in his stomach, sniffling as he carded his fingers through my hair.

\-----

Turns out he got a camera shoved down his throat at the same time the doctor shoved forceps down to grab the knife. When the doc pulled the knife, he held it up before asking if we wanted it. We both shook our heads, watching him drop it into a biohazard bin. Dylin worked his jaw, stiff from getting it held open. I’m surprised he didn’t bite the doctor, to be honest. That wouldn’t’ve surprised me at all.

In the truck after, he hummed, watching me. “Still upset?” I nodded faintly, glancing at him. The corner of his mouth was propped into a smile, and I raised an eyebrow, pulling into our driveway. “Nothin’ like gettin’ shit shoved down your throat. Not if it’s not enjoyable, that is.” I stared at him, and he smirked, crawling over and kissing me.

“Yeah, not happening. You taste like metal  _ and _ you’re sleeping on the couch for a night or so because of how  _ irrevocably stupid _ that was.” He hummed.

“Yeah, I expected that.”


End file.
